The Ranch

Last week, Papo called me to ask if I would come over and watch the house and feed the animals. So, today after touching up my newly sanded-down/painted furniture and playing a rough soccer game I went down there.

I packed up my mom's boxes to ship to her and cleaned the house we emptied a bit. I fed the donkeys, the goats, and the cows the many, many bags of leftover bread my grandpa gets donated to him for free every week.Then, my grandparents got home. They were in a great mood when they pulled up. They like when I come visit but also they were in an especially good mood because they took a family to church for the first time. My Papo is a deacon in the Catholic Church and since my grandparents retired it is even more part of their life than it was before which even then was significant.

I was excited to show them the two rose bushes I brought them and they were excited to give me some gas money...in that way they are normal grandparents.

As we were sitting around talking in the dining room my grandfather started to talk to me. He was telling me how Mamo is so helpful in his ministry. He was saying how she forgets things now but he helps her and he believes this is all part of God's plan. My Mamo is suffering from what is obviously the early stages of Alzheimer's. Her mother had it and so it is not all the surprising that she does too. It's a hard reality to deal with. Most people can't.

My Papo had Mamo write a check for me and as she was writing my check she couldn't remember how to spell my last name, what month it was, or how to write the number my Papo told her to put on the check. But, its not just that her memory is going. She is a totally different person now too. My Mamo, much like my mother, has always been a very strong woman. She had a tough life and worked hard to make herself a comfortable one. She used to be opinionated, tough, and give you a hard time. People who came into her store when I was growing up would love to come in and pick fights with Ms.Perez. With the disease she has lost a lot of that. She is much more girl-like now. She does what my Papo tells her to do. She cries if she thinks about not being able to remember stuff. She cries when I get off the phone or leave her. My mother taught me a trick where whenever I feel her about to cry or whenever I know we are going to say good-bye I have to distract her in some way. Play down the bad memory or the good-byes. Talk about naming her new dog or make a joke as I am leaving. It's really hard. When we were talking in the kitchen. I decided I needed picture of my grandparents. So here it is. Even taking it was painful. It was just a moment that was not normal. The Mamo I grew up with probably wouldn't have been all girly and sat on my Papo's lap. My Papo would not have held her protectively and kissed her on the cheek. But this is how it happened when I snapped the picture on my iPhone. I started to cry as soon as I saw the image on my screen.