One Year Bad Luck

I moved back to Austin officially on January 1st. My sister and I went out for New Years in Austin and then voila, I was living in Austin again. A month later it all started:

January 30th: Dog attacks me while jogging. I file a claim against the owners and being its third victim prepare to go to court to have it labelled a dangerous dog- the best they tell me I can do. I do a little legal maneuvering and the dog is put down...trust me he is in a better place.

February: Roll my ankle playing soccer and while getting Xrays for that discover that the dog wound is developing hardening blood pockets which could be permanent if I do not massage and heat them up nightly. My scar is also not healing so I go to the dermatologist who tells me I have vitiligo (Michael Jackson's disease) brought on by trauma (dog) and will have to have laser therapy.

March: Have a drunken man swing a shotgun wildly around me in the middle of the night.

April: Tire gets a nail in it and barely misses the part of the tire where you can patch it. New tire required.

May: I ran out of contacts but not before throwing my last pair away. So I wore my glasses. However, I had to put on my makeup essentially blind and managed to stick my blush brush in it. This resulted in a corneal abrasion which triggered an undetected astigmatism. I have been to the optometrist 5 times and the opthamologist twice in 3 months. I have been in and out of glasses, misdiagnosed, put on at least 6 different eye drops. What did I learn? Never go to an optometrist.

June: Roommate problems.

July: Hmm...well I guess it was a good month or rather, nothing bad happened.

August ie. TODAY!!!!: I am on my voyage from Texas to Virginia. I stopped in Amarillo for 4 days. Had a good time. I get to Oklahoma. My cat almost has a nervous breakdown. My idea of putting the litter box out for her fails miserable and now I have cat litter EVERYWHERE in my car. The mini-experiment of letting her wander in the car fails and brings on her panting like a dog- totally not normal. My mind starts thinking of how to get her to the nearest vet. Thankfully she finally chills out and falls asleep. In Arkansas, I am a mere 30 minutes from my nights destination. I have been noticing all day how my car is pulling really strong to the right but I figured it was when I checked the curb a few days before. I thought that sucked but I'd get it fixed. I had to take my car in anyways because my grandpa backed into on Sunday (more bad luck-- I'm serious his car was barely scratched and mine will require a whole new panel!) So I am on the phone with Deb (my bfffff) when i hear a thud and then plastic tearing and ripping and I just know my tire has blown out and I keep remembering how people flip their cars during blowouts and how I better be careful to keep my steering wheel straight. Thankfully I have my new bluetooth in and both hands were on the wheel. I am on a MAJOR highway but my car is seriously f'd up and I keep thinking the front of my car is going to fall off. There are 18 wheelers everywhere and I know someone is going to ram into and roll over my tiny little car so I grab Cleo and get the hell out. I start calling my roadside assistance and stand in the middle grassy part btwn the two highways. I'm on hold with my roadside (def going to complain later) when this big Expedition drives up to me. Of course, I think thank G-d its daylight and I can't be raped (too much Law & Order). They jump out and tell me they are going to move the car off the highway. I tell them I don't think they can. Of course, they know better. I am half hysterical. They drive my car to the complete other side of the highway and one of them starts throwing stuff out of my car like he is gonna change it. I think he is crazy. I mean there are electrical cords popping out! The other guy asks me if I'll stay with his kids and sit in the car with Cleo. I agree and get in. 11 year old boys are sitting in the back. I watch them change my tire and then a State Trooper pulls up so I get out to talk to him. I can't decide if its bc I look 16 or bc I am a woman but either way they start telling the Trooper my Daddy shouldn't let me drive this small of a car. Whatever. They were very nice to change the tire. The Trooper made a joke not to put my Texas gear back in the car. With Georgia men changing the tire and the Trooper who probably is a Razorback I just give a little laugh. They all convince me my little midget tire is fine to drive into Little Rock on but then I should get it repaired. My floodlight has been ripped off and the thing that pops my hood has not only been dismanteled but the plastic lever inside my car was ripped from the car. At this point, I want to sue someone. WTF.

I am writing this in a crappy hotel in Little Rock in probably not the safest part of town. Tomorrow I have to wake up early to get there before the car shop opens and pray they can put me on the road so I can do the major stuff in Virginia. Please G-d.